How Do You Deal With Loneliness
Dedicated To Sally Demore who took her own life Christmas Eve 2018
I too have my momentary lapses where I feel like am all
alone in this world. It is not abnormal to feel this way, the only thing you
need to look out for is that it doesn’t happen regularly and at specific times
of the day. I talk about ways to help others improve on their lives and it
would only be fair for me to give you tips on how I deal with my low moments.
After going through the death of my husband who I
was with for the longest period in my life 35 years, I felt the pain, decided to
isolate myself from everyone else. I thought I had failed and the fear of
facing others was unbearable, to me the easiest way to deal with this was to
break away from social activities. I found myself drifting further and further
apart from the people who were once considered a part of my daily routine.
Looking back now, I see I let the situation get to extreme levels of which it
shouldn’t have reached.
So, how do I deal with loneliness? One is to stay in control
of the reason that is changing your normal happy self. When you give the
situation power over you to dictate how you feel leads to a downward spiral. I
will use examples from my personal experiences for lack of better examples; my husband's death should have not taken over my
daily routine of how I relate to other people. That is case in point of how the
situation should not take over from the norm.
At moments of heart break it is normal to isolate oneself
from people around you. It must be a natural coping mechanism humans are built
with. I am not saying you have to be around people every minute of every day, you
have to enjoy your own company before others can enjoy spending time with you,
so some isolation is okay. What one should look out for is not to let the
isolation get to extremes of hours on end per day. If you are in the same house
with family, children, spouses or siblings, going 6 hours without seeing one
another is taking isolation to the extreme. Try as much as possible to keep
your isolation to a bare minimum, you will be able to tell from your daily
routine and how you normally behave.
Like I said above, human nature is to isolate when
heartbreak occurs, a coping mechanism that could actually harm. But from my own
experience, at the time of my heartbreak is when I should have been around
people more than seeking me time. Involve yourself in an activity to get to
meet new people, a change from the daily routine you have could be the much deserved break you need.
Finally, the thought that you are the only one going through
heartbreak should be furthest from your mind. It happens to everyone.
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